Surgery Over

The surgery was done on Wednesday.
It went well and it was relatively easy.
They did find another polyp near the top of the uterus.
All polyps are out.
Which could explain the infertility issues.
I read some articles online that said my chances of getting pregnant could increase to almost 70%.
Uterus looks good per the doctor.

I have hope again.
Perhaps IVF will work for us.
Maybe I can stop living in the what ifs and live in the what's next.
Maybe join all those happy parenting pictures I see.
Future baby, do you know the things we will take pictures of?

Now till wait till April to get the show on the road.
Hormones, let's go!

Next up... Surgery

For the first time in probably a decade, I am on the pill.
It feels so strange to be on the pill.
To be "preventing" at the moment.
The real purpose, the hormones will help keep my lining thin for the polyps to be removed.

Then off to IVF next month.
I am excited to start this.
It has a higher success rate.
But not 100%.

I am nervous.
What if this doesn't work?
What next?
Do we want to even adopt?
How long will we have to wait for our baby?

Disappointed Again...

I was so proud of myself.
I wanted till Tuesday to test.

And it was negative. 

Then Wednesday, I started spotting. 

Full flow today. 

Sigh. 

I have cried. 

I am so tired of making "if" plans. 

I want to make "when" plans. 

I just wanted to take that money and spend it on the baby. 

Not to get the baby. 

So now I will have my uterine polyps removed this month. 

IVF will begin next month. 

Why me?