"Just relax"

One of my pet peeves is the advice people give.
I got it when my first husband died too.
Now I get it from some people who know we are trying.

"Just relax and it will happen."
Yeah, that does work for most people.
The first nine months of not preventing and just seeing what happened was relaxed.
I am not one of those women who makes sex clinical.
We still do lingerie.
Sex on the couch.
Afternoon delights.

"Just have a few drinks."
Yeah, we did that too.

Is it hard for people to realize that not everyone gets pregnant right away?
Is it inconceivable that some people do have medical problems in getting pregnant?
And maybe I am one of them.

"Have you tried laying in bed after sex?"
"Have you tried having sex later in your cycle?"
"Have you tried using this brand of lube?"
Yep.
Been there.
Done that.

I am not an idiot.
I am not someone who tried to get pregnant for a month or two and then sought medical help.
I have some known medical issues.

Sigh...

Backstory - Part 2

It was May 2012.
One month before our wedding date.
We both wanted kids.
I was 31.
So sooner rather than later.
So... what the hell.
Screw the diaphragm.
We were officially not preventing.
And yes, we were relaxed and having fun.

I have not been on the birth control pill since June 2011 due to MTHFR homozygous mutation.
One of my many preventions of my own pregnancy.
Along with PCOS with about 20% of women.
And a tilted uterus.

We had fun.
Had lots of sex.
Dodged the age old question of when we would start having kids.
And tracked my period and our sex life one of those calendars on my phone.
But not much other thought.
Month after month, ugly "Aunt Flo" showed her annoying face.
I thought in December 2012 I might be pregnant when my period was about 5 days late.
But no, not me.

In February of this year, I reached out to my OB/Gyn.
"Are you having appropriate sex?"
Umm, yes. I think so.
I asked, "What do you mean?"
He suggested sex every other day on cycle days 10-16.
We upped it to days 10-18 just to make sure.
Then every 2-3 days outside of that window.
"Call me in June if you aren't pregnant by then."

Nothing.

In June, I tried my first cycle of Femara.
Nothing.
Tried another cycle in August.
Nothing.

"Okay. I am still not pregnant. What do I do now?"
Doctor replied, "It is time to seek help of a reproductive endocrinologist."

My whole life I have been good at almost everything I put my mind to.
I get almost everything I want if I put my mind to it.
Why not this?
Maybe I did not want kids for so long because I knew my body was not capable of it.
Maybe my subconscious was protecting me.
Maybe one of my enemies cursed me.
Maybe I was being punished for being happy, safe, and secure back in the summer of 2008.
Maybe I was not genetically fit.

So we went to our first consultation.
And here we are.

I spit in a test tube a few weeks ago to do some more genetic testing.
I have blood work to do tomorrow.
A HSG in about 10 days.
Then Kevin will have some "fun" in a man-cave at the doctors office.
And then we will discuss all the results and our next steps.

Sigh...