Two Week Wait

We did our second IUI on Tuesday.
Everything looked good and I had less cramping than before which I am assuming is a good thing.
And now we wait.

We can do a home pregnancy test on Tuesday, March 4th.
So we wait.

I will not test early this time.
I have promised myself not to have that disappointment of testing too early.
So I am busying my mind, visiting friends, and making appointments for myself.

Tonight someone was talking about the Law of Attraction.
Visualizing myself pregnant.
Visualizing myself in maternity clothes.
Visualizing my future baby.

The thing is...
I do not want to be disappointed.
I do not want to have all these happy moments in my head to have them taken away in less than two weeks.

I am trying hard to be cautiously optimistic.
I will get my baby.
I am determined about that.

Hurry Hurry, Wait Wait

Anyone dealing with infertility will tell you this is how it feels.
Everything is so time sensitive that you are always either rushing around or waiting.
Today was rushing around.

There were no cysts last week so we were given the green light for Femara last week.
Today we go the the doctor to check if the Femara worked.
I have several follicles but they are all too small.
So on to FSH injections.

Oh but wait.
The only local pharmacy that carries it is 45 minutes away.
Oh but wait.
They are not open yet because it is too early still.

We rush home.
Both of us have appointments with students.
We decide we will spend our lunch time acquiring the meds.

I try to work quickly to get my Monday morning tasks complete.
We rush 45 minutes north.
We wait for our drug to be ready.
We rush 45 minutes back.
I had to move a work meeting to give myself time to eat.

Of course, Mondays are always busy with work and I have no time to really think or help the poor guy who is observing my class for volunteer hours.
So I rush through all my 88 phone calls.

And now we wait.
For Thursday.
Recheck the follicles.
Hopefully not too many or we will have to cancel.
And wait again.